Forgiving You: Another Again

Tonight I am thinking about you
about that phone call at midnight in late August
I was on vacation 
the room spun
and in seconds I was sick
I thought about everything I wanted to say
everything I had rehearsed for months
"I hate you"
"How could you?"
"Leave me alone"
but when I answered the phone 
the only words that left my mouth were 
"I forgive you"
and I do
but please never talk to me again
because I am afraid that "I forgive you"
will turn into "I love you" 
and I can't give you my heart again
I can't let you take pieces of me again
last November you took everything
I couldn't get out of bed
"I forgive you" 
will never be "I love you" 
not ever again.
Instead, "I forgive you"
is I never want to see you again.