Tonight I am thinking about you
about that phone call at midnight in late August I was on vacation the room spun and in seconds I was sick I thought about everything I wanted to say everything I had rehearsed for months "I hate you" "How could you?" "Leave me alone" but when I answered the phone the only words that left my mouth were "I forgive you" and I do but please never talk to me again because I am afraid that "I forgive you" will turn into "I love you" and I can't give you my heart again I can't let you take pieces of me again last November you took everything I couldn't get out of bed "I forgive you" will never be "I love you" not ever again. Instead, "I forgive you" is I never want to see you again.
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February 2020
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