This year has been an attempt at letting go of inhibitions and giving into my craft. Art is an interruption to equilibrium therefore, inevitably my efforts to give into my craft tore away the safety net in my life leaving me to wonder how I could keep on going and more importantly keep on creating. I once read that being an artist was particularly difficult because of all the people who would tell you to quit, however, that context didn't acknowledge that the strongest and most compelling voice telling you to stop would be your own. I have single-handedly fallen victim to this internal saboteur more than a few times and at one point I even quit altogether. It is not easy looking at your own vulnerable work and not pinpointing everything you wish you would've done differently, in-fact, I'm a firm believer you couldn't call yourself an artist if you didn't do that at least once. Art is the reason I had broken but be that as it may Art is also what built me back up and individually stoned my foundation firm to ground so that the next time a breeze of insecurity blew I wouldn't fall apart, but instead reminded of how strong my craft made me.
Today I found myself comparing my work to other artists and feeling emotionally distraught because I felt as though my artistry was not as strong as theirs. This inevitably raised the question "why do I create?" which I found that I could not answer right away. But after thinking I found that I create for liberation from these darker moments by conjuring up stories that are open for interpretation. My style of photography is changing as I desperately seek visual integrity but one thing I have to continue to remind myself is that as artists we cannot look at another persons body of work and somehow find a way to see their strengths as our insecurities, be inspired, motivated, and left with a desire to create and elevate your craft don't stop because you feel like you are not good enough to keep on producing content that ignites emotion.