BRYAN CLAVEL
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Progress Looks Like a Bunch of Failures

9/28/2019

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The sea is empty
The sky is not blue
We exist somewhere in the middle 
The Mid-tones
Middle Grey
I haven't heard from you in months
progress looks like a bunch of failures
and I'm sorry you were one



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Youth at 3,4 and 5 am

9/16/2019

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Somehow I woke up today and was 7, 10 and 11
Somehow the blue light radiating from the TV reminded me of youth
of a person I used to be, the person I once knew
at some point tonight I felt closer to you than I ever have
you see, its been years since we've spoken
I never got to say goodbye
never got to say I love you or I'm sorry 
you would've forgiven me
you were so quiet 
so shy 
just a kid in love with creating 
saw the magic in  everyday life
I thought about you at the thrift store the other day
it was when I picked up a toy horse with blonde hair you would have loved to brush
I thought about 3rd grade when you studied for an exam so you could win the toy of your choice
to no ones surprise but your own, you won
and asked for a pony with hair you could brush
your teacher never found one 
said all she could find that fit that description were girl toys and you clearly were not a girl
I thought about that christmas when you asked for a pony with hair you could brush
and how your aunt couldn't find one
because your mother might think it was too much
but she was wrong because our mom bought you 3 
one with glitter, you were 7, and my god, you loved that thing
I'm sorry I didn't love you sooner
You needed to be loved
all I did was tell you that you would never be good enough
So I'm happy I saw you today
happy I got the chance to tell you how special you are
and how I know you are going to succeed
not because you are a prodigy of intelligence 
or even a prodigy at all 
but because you are a hard worker
and will always land amongst the stars 
Tonight, for a moment, I was young again 
I saw you your reflection in the hall
got the chance to say I love you 
got the chance to say it all


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  • Home
  • Diary of Drag Queen
  • CV
  • Divine Punishment 2020
  • Commercial Portraits
  • Little Death 2019
  • What You Took 2019
  • The Healing Process 2018
  • The Princess Project 2017