Day 4: Wounded

The color red is a ritualistic and spiritual color, some of its most prolific symbolic representations are found in its depiction of royalty, love and life.  Today I wanted to create a piece utilizing such a vibrant color as opposed to the neutral earth tones I've used thus far to symbolically portray the idea of beginning a new journey towards unconditional self love. I don't often speak about the terrible relationship I had with myself growing up, but today I find it necessary to elaborate on that part of my life because it is deserving of at least being heard. I hated myself when I was younger, I remember looking at in the mirror at 11 and questioning weather or not I was worthy of friendship or love. I was unable to make friends that entire year because I questioned any individuals choice to speak to me at all.When I turned fifteen, I starved myself for three months because I thought a thinner body would make it easier to at least love myself if I was undeserving of anybody else's affection. At sixteen, I wanted to die on the grounds that life would be easier without a vessel incapable of accepting who he was. That said, when I tried and failed my heart sunk because I thought I was weak for not even being capable enough to follow through with such plans. This challenge, is giving me the power to look at myself and say that I am enough. I created this 30 day challenge to promote the idea that their is strength in learning about yourself. I will not say that I have gotten to a point in my life in where insecurities don't cripple me, however, today, I at least have the perseverance to keep wanting to understand why I am worth loving.