BRYAN CLAVEL
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A letter to you

1/14/2020

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Dear ______,
I am writing this letter at midnight because it appears I can only see in the dark. I'll miss our talks, though they were mostly one sided, you were always such a good listener. I am writing this now because for a second it has sinked in that you will never love me, at least not in the way I would like you to, not in the way that I do you. I had hoped I'd find the strength to tell you goodbye but the fact of the matter is, every time I reach out to beg you to walk away I find myself distracted with "hello" and "how are you". Though, worst of all, I find myself missing you in moments when I am alone. I am always the boy at the bon fire you wouldn't leave alone, the one you sang for at the crack of dawn, the one you held at the wedding, the one you watched sun come up with so many times. We've seen so many sun rises that perhaps the ritual is what bound me to you. Goodbye, not forever, but definitely for a while. I can't live my life afraid of you walking away. I can't live my life in hopes that maybe there will come a day. Goodbye, you deserve the world, it's just hard knowing I can't be the one to share it with you. 
Cordially,
​Bryan
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